TTP article index>> Let's Talk About Sex with Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D. and Dominic Cappello, authors of TEN TALKS PARENTS MUST HAVE WITH THEIR CHILDREN ABOUT SEX AND CHARACTER Q: Why is Ten Talks Parents Must Have With Their Children About Sex And Character needed? Don't most parents talk to their kids about basic sex education? A: We wish that were true. But only a tiny minority of kids report that they learned about basic sex education - much less in depth conversations about sexuality - from their parents or any relative. Most parents do want their kids to have information and values clarification but want the schools to do the job. Unfortunately, there is less sex education today in the schools than there was in the 70s. And there is almost nothing about how to handle sexual situations and material having sexual content. Q: Why is the book about sex and character? A: We didn't want to write another book about body parts (though it's important to understand how the body works, many books already do a good job of explaining that). Kids need to hear about the emotional side of sexual relationships including ethics and family values - information that can only come from their parents. Q: How is this book different from other books about sex education? A: We combine elements of sexuality education with elements of character education to create a holistic look at relationships. Ten Talks is a book you not only read, but a book parents actually "do" with their child. Each chapter is a talk about a particular topic - from puberty to honesty to setting personal boundaries. And each chapter contains interactive, illustrated activities for parents and children to discuss. Q: Why did you include a chapter on friendship? A: We know that kids need to learn how to be a good friend before they can take on the complexities of a sexual relationship. We help parents talk about the importance of friendship, communication and setting personal boundaries. Q: Where is the Ten Talks approach being used? A: Co-author Dominic Cappello has been developing parent-child communication programs since 1995 and the story telling approach used in Ten Talks is the centerpiece of all his successful programs. Literally thousands of parents and their children from all over the country have been using the Ten Talks approach with much success for many years. Q: Is there an age when kids might be more receptive to Ten Talks and sexuality education? A: Every child is different but we have found that elementary school is the perfect time to convey concerns and information about sexuality. By ages 10-12, kids have already received thousands of messages about sexuality from TV and friends. Starting a talk before puberty begins is best. The activities have proven exceptionally well received with parents of fourth through eighth graders. But all kids, including teens, need correct information about sex and clear messages about their parents’ values and expectations. Q: Why are there ten talks, and not two or three talks? A: We are way beyond the era of "the talk" when a parent would say, "Do you know everything you need to know about sex?" and the child responds with, "I learned it all in school." Life is very complex today - with issues like teen pregnancy, AIDS and internet chat rooms to be explained - and it's going to take a series of talks, over time, to truly convey all the information a child needs to understand how relationships work, the importance of developing a strong character, and how to feel comfortable with one's sexuality. Ten Talks is a resource that can be used with every child - to be used yearly as kids grow and new issues emerge. Q: Ten Talks make reference to "family values." What do you mean by that? A: Parents have their own view on what constitutes a healthy relationship and what character traits are admired. Ten Talks believes that each parent’s values are to be respected and nurtured - and most importantly, shared with their children. Ten Talks acknowledges that parents have very different ideas and beliefs when it comes to talking about sexual relationships. Ten Talks helps each parent craft their own unique series of talks. Q: But won’t talking about sex look like parental approval and increase the chance the kids will have sex before marriage? A: Most of the evidence shows that when kids feel comfortable talking to their parents about sex and when they get valuable, relevant sexual information from their parents, then they delay the age of their first experience with sexual intercourse. TTP article index>> News I Health I Wellness I Exercise I Profiles I Business I Links I Women ROCK! Product Review I To the Point I Contact I Home Created by: Art Street Design Studio. © Concerning Women Communications, Inc. all rights reserved.